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Understanding what Toxic Love actually is…
When hear the word ‘toxic’, the most likely thing we think of is poison. Toxic waste is dangerous, we all know that and toxic materials can hurt us. So when we talk of toxic relationships, it’s not hard to guess what they are. They are poison, they are harmful and they can most certainly damage your health.
But what if you don’t even realise you are in a toxic relationship? Or you may realise it but either be in denial or simply not know which way to turn. Identifying the issue, understanding it what it is and the harm it can do and then addressing the situation are steps that must be taken.
A toxic relationship can cause stress, depression, anxiety and medical problems. In the long-term, this can lead to serious heart conditions and could possibly kill you one day. That’s no exaggeration. In a study of 10,000 relationships over a 12-year period, research discovered people in negative relationships were at a far greater risk of cardiac issues or episodes.
So it’s fair to say toxic love, if there is such a thing, could eventually lead you to an early grave. The toxic family is wide and varied and though partners are major players, it can take the form of friendships, co-workers, or even a parent/child relationship. While everyone has disagreements or fall-outs from time to time, for some people, the lines become blurred and they may not even realise that they are in a toxic relationship.
If you do suspect you might be in a relationship that is toxic, you need to answer some simple questions about your time with the person causing the issues:
In their company...
- Do you feel content or drained?
- Do you feel good about yourself or worse?
- Do you feel safe or threatened?
- Is it give and take or always you giving and them taking?
- Are you often serene or is there often a scene?
- Are they happy with you the way you are or do you feel it’s you that must change to make things better?
- Do you feel like he or she is happy with who you are, or do you feel like you have to change to make him or her happy?
Now that you’ve done that, it’s worth reminding yourself what a healthy and happy relationship is like. These are defined by compassion, feeling safe and secure, sharing, mutual love and support. Being able to disagree, yet see the other point of view. More than anything, it is based on mutual respect.
Toxic relationships are none of the above. They are filled with insecurity, abuse of power, selfishness, negativity, jealousy, criticism and dishonesty – to name but a few.
Does the above apply to you? Does it confirm what you really already know? If it does, then read on.
Toxic Love will help you stand on your own two feet again, move forward and eventually restore the quality of life that has been absent for so long…